Sorry in Chinese: 对不起, 不好意思, 抱歉 (and How to Say Excuse Me)

沉浸 TeamOctober 15, 20266 min read

Sorry in Chinese is 对不起 (duìbuqǐ). It's the sincere "I'm sorry" for something that was your fault: being late, breaking something, hurting someone's feelings. For small everyday stuff, though, Chinese speakers reach for 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi), a lighter "sorry, excuse me", and in formal settings you'll hear 抱歉 (bàoqiàn).

Picking the right one is the whole skill, because an over-heavy 对不起 for a bumped elbow sounds as odd as a breezy 不好意思 for a real mistake. This guide covers all three, how to say "excuse me", how to reply when someone apologizes to you, and the Cantonese versions, as part of our essential Chinese phrases guide.

How to say and write sorry in Chinese

Characters: 对不起
Pinyin: duìbuqǐ. 对 is fourth tone, 不 goes neutral (light and quick), 起 is third tone.
Traditional: 對不起

The characters tell a small story. 对 (duì) means "to face"; 不起 (bu qǐ) is a verb ending meaning "unable to". So 对不起 is "I can't face you", which is a sincere way to put it. The opposite, 对得起 (duì de qǐ), means "able to face", as in 对得起父母, "I've done right by my parents". Our free character practice sheets print the stroke order if you'd like to write it.

对不起 vs 不好意思 vs 抱歉: which sorry to use

Think of three weights:

对不起 (duìbuqǐ), heavy: a real apology. You stepped on someone's foot, you forgot a promise, you said something hurtful. Often with 真 (zhēn, "truly"): 真对不起.
不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi), light: "sorry to bother you", "oops, excuse me". Literally "embarrassed". For being two minutes late, squeezing past someone, asking a favor, interrupting. This is the one you'll use most.
抱歉 (bàoqiàn), formal: "my apologies". Writing, customer service, announcements, work email. Usually with 很 or 非常: 非常抱歉 (fēicháng bàoqiàn), "we sincerely apologize".

A quick calibration. You knock a stranger's coffee over: 对不起. You reach across them for the sugar: 不好意思. Your company's app went down: 抱歉. If you're unsure, 不好意思 is the safe middle for anything short of a real wrong.

Making the apology fuller

Chinese tends to apologize less with words and more with action, so a bare 对不起 can feel thin for a serious mistake. Add one of these:

是我的错。 (Shì wǒ de cuò.) It's my fault.
我错了。 (Wǒ cuò le.) I was wrong.
我不是故意的。 (Wǒ bú shì gùyì de.) I didn't mean to.
请原谅我。 (Qǐng yuánliàng wǒ.) Please forgive me.
下次不会了。 (Xià cì bú huì le.) It won't happen again.
让你久等了。 (Ràng nǐ jiǔ děng le.) Sorry to keep you waiting. The standard line when you're late.
给你添麻烦了。 (Gěi nǐ tiān máfan le.) Sorry for the trouble I've caused you.

Two more you'll hear in the north: 对不住 (duìbuzhù), a folksy 对不起, and 不好意思啊 with a trailing 啊 that makes it warmer.

How to say excuse me in Chinese

English "excuse me" does four different jobs, and Chinese has a phrase for each:

Starting a question: 请问 (qǐngwèn), "may I ask". 请问，洗手间在哪里？ (Qǐngwèn, xǐshǒujiān zài nǎlǐ?) Excuse me, where's the restroom?
Getting attention or interrupting: 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi), or the more formal 打扰一下 (dǎrǎo yíxià), "sorry to disturb you".
Squeezing past: 借过 (jièguò), "coming through", literally "borrow a pass". Essential on the subway. In Beijing you'll also hear 劳驾 (láojià).
"Excuse me?" because you didn't hear: not an apology at all. Say 你说什么？ (nǐ shuō shénme?, "what did you say?") or 请再说一遍 (qǐng zài shuō yí biàn, "please say it again").

For the polite request side of things (请 and 麻烦你), see our guide to please in Chinese.

How to reply when someone says sorry

没关系 (méi guānxi): "it doesn't matter", "no worries". The standard reply to 对不起.
没事 (méishì): "it's nothing". Casual and very common. Often 没事没事.
不要紧 (búyàojǐn): "it's not serious". Slightly more formal.
别放在心上。 (Bié fàng zài xīn shàng.) Don't take it to heart.
没什么。 (Méi shénme.) It's nothing.

没关系 also answers a thank-you, which confuses learners. The logic is the same: "there's no issue between us". Our guide to you're welcome in Chinese sorts out which replies go with which.

"Sorry to hear that" and other sympathy phrases

English "sorry" also means sympathy, and 对不起 does not. Use these instead:

真遗憾。 (Zhēn yíhàn.) That's a real pity. For bad news that isn't a death.
太可惜了。 (Tài kěxī le.) What a shame.
节哀顺变。 (Jié'āi shùnbiàn.) My condolences. The set phrase for a bereavement.

A short apology message you can copy

For a text to a friend or teacher when you've missed something:

老师，真不好意思，我今天生病了，不能来上课。给您添麻烦了，下次一定补上。 (Lǎoshī, zhēn bù hǎoyìsi, wǒ jīntiān shēngbìng le, bù néng lái shàngkè. Gěi nín tiān máfan le, xià cì yídìng bǔ shàng.) "Teacher, I'm so sorry, I'm sick today and can't come to class. Sorry for the trouble; I'll make it up next time."

For a formal written apology, swap 不好意思 for 抱歉 and 您 for the person's title. Our guide to writing an email in Chinese has a full apology-email template.

Sorry in Cantonese

In Hong Kong and Guangdong, "sorry" is 对唔住 (deoi3 m4 zyu6), the Cantonese cousin of 对不住, and the light "excuse me" is 唔好意思 (m4 hou2 ji3 si1), matching 不好意思. Hong Kongers also just say the English word "sorry" constantly, even mid-Cantonese sentence. The written 对不起 and 抱歉 are understood everywhere. Our guide to Mandarin vs Cantonese explains why the spoken forms differ.

Not sure your duìbuqǐ sounds sincere rather than clipped? A free Chenjin account lets you hear every phrase in this post read by a native voice, then use Tone Coach to compare your recording syllable by syllable. Sign up free to try it.

FAQ

How do you say sorry in Mandarin?

对不起 (duìbuqǐ) for a real apology, 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) for small everyday things, and 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) in formal or written settings.

What does dui bu qi mean?

对不起 (duìbuqǐ) means "I'm sorry". Literally it's "unable to face (you)": 对 is "face" and 不起 means "can't".

What does bu hao yi si mean?

不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) means "sorry" or "excuse me" for minor things, and literally "embarrassed". It also means "shy" in other contexts: 他很不好意思, "he's shy about it".

How do you say excuse me in Chinese?

请问 (qǐngwèn) to start a question, 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) to interrupt, and 借过 (jièguò) to get past someone.

How do you respond to sorry in Chinese?

没关系 (méi guānxi), "it doesn't matter", or the casual 没事 (méishì), "it's nothing".

How do you write sorry in Chinese?

对不起. In traditional characters it's 對不起. The formal "apology" as a noun is 道歉 (dàoqiàn), as in 向你道歉, "I apologize to you".