Formal and Polite Language: Requests, Humble Forms, and Honorifics

Chinese politeness is built through word choice, sentence structure, and a set of vocabulary that signals respect or humility depending on who you're talking about. It's a layered system, and this article covers the main tools you'll need from the upper-intermediate level onward.

Making polite requests

请 (qǐng) is the closest Chinese gets to a general-purpose "please." You've known it since early on. It goes at the start of a request and signals that you're asking rather than telling.

• 请坐。(Qǐng zuò.) -- Please sit down.
• 请稍等。(Qǐng shāo děng.) -- Please wait a moment.
• 请问，附近有银行吗？(Qǐngwèn, fùjìn yǒu yínháng ma?) -- Excuse me, is there a bank nearby?

请问 as a fixed phrase is worth treating as its own unit. It's the standard polite opener for a question to a stranger, roughly equivalent to "excuse me" or "may I ask."

For more formal written requests, a few patterns go further than 请:

烦请 (fán qǐng) -- "I'd trouble you to..." A step above 请 in formality, commonly used in formal letters and emails.

• 烦请尽快回复。-- I'd trouble you to reply as soon as possible.

敬请 (jìng qǐng) -- "respectfully request." Very formal, used in official notices and invitations.

• 敬请光临。-- You are respectfully invited to attend. (Standard on invitations.)

恳请 (kěn qǐng) -- "earnestly request." Used when making a sincere appeal, often in formal petitions or letters asking for help.

• 恳请您给予支持。-- I earnestly ask for your support.

Softening requests in speech

In everyday polite speech, requests are softened in a few reliable ways.

Adding 一下 (yīxià) after the verb makes a request sound lighter and less demanding:

• 你能帮我看一下吗？(Nǐ néng bāng wǒ kàn yīxià ma?) -- Could you take a look for me?
• 麻烦你签一下名。(Máfan nǐ qiān yīxià míng.) -- Could I trouble you to sign your name?

麻烦你 (máfan nǐ, "trouble you") is a versatile polite opener for requests, similar to "would you mind" in English. It's warm and natural in both spoken and written contexts.

能不能 / 可不可以 turn a request into a question, which softens it considerably:

• 能不能帮我拿一下？(Néng bu néng bāng wǒ ná yīxià?) -- Would you be able to grab that for me?
• 可不可以说慢一点？(Kě bu kěyǐ shuō màn yīdiǎn?) -- Could you speak a little more slowly?

劳驾 (láojià) is a slightly old-fashioned but still-used polite opener meaning "excuse me" or "may I trouble you," often heard when asking a stranger for directions or help.

Humble language: talking about yourself

One of the most distinctive features of formal Chinese politeness is the use of special vocabulary to talk about yourself in a self-deprecating way. This is called 谦辞 (qiāncí), humble language. You lower yourself as a way of showing respect to the other person.

Some common humble expressions:

拙 (zhuō, "clumsy," "poor") -- used before things you've created or produced to downplay them.

• 拙作 (zhuō zuò) -- my humble work (a piece of writing, art, etc.)
• 拙见 (zhuō jiàn) -- my humble opinion

鄙 (bǐ, "lowly," "humble") -- used to refer to yourself or things associated with you.

• 鄙人 (bǐ rén) -- I, this lowly person (very formal, somewhat archaic but still appears in formal writing)
• 鄙见 (bǐ jiàn) -- my humble view (same as 拙见)

敝 (bì, "my humble...") -- used before things belonging to you or your organization.

• 敝公司 (bì gōngsī) -- our company (humble)
• 敝校 (bì xiào) -- our school (humble)

愚 (yú, "foolish") -- used to refer to yourself or your own ideas.

• 愚见 (yú jiàn) -- my foolish opinion

寒 (hán, "cold," "humble") -- used before things associated with your home or family.

• 寒舍 (hán shě) -- my humble home

In practice, most of these sound quite formal or even archaic in everyday speech. You're more likely to encounter them in letters, formal speeches, and traditional contexts than in modern casual writing. But they appear in literature, formal correspondence, and business settings, so it's worth recognizing them.

A more everyday way to be humble is simply to qualify your opinion before offering it:

• 我个人认为... (Wǒ gèrén rènwéi...) -- In my personal view...
• 我觉得可能... (Wǒ juéde kěnéng...) -- I think perhaps...
• 不太确定，但是... (Bù tài quèdìng, dànshì...) -- Not entirely sure, but...

These hedges are natural and common, and they signal appropriate modesty without sounding stilted.

Honorific language: talking about others

The flip side of humble language is 敬辞 (jìngcí), honorific vocabulary used to elevate the person you're speaking to or about. Where humble terms lower the speaker, honorific terms raise the listener.

您 (nín) is the most common and important honorific. It's the polite form of 你 and is used with strangers, elders, customers, and anyone you want to show respect to.

• 您好！(Nín hǎo!) -- Hello! (polite)
• 请问您贵姓？(Qǐngwèn nín guì xìng?) -- May I ask your honorable surname?

贵 (guì, "precious," "honorable") is attached to nouns when referring to the other person's things or associations:

• 贵姓 (guì xìng) -- your honorable surname (used when asking someone's last name)
• 贵公司 (guì gōngsī) -- your company (honorific, in contrast to 敝公司 for your own)
• 贵校 (guì xiào) -- your school
• 贵国 (guì guó) -- your country

府上 (fǔshàng) -- your honorable home. More formal than just saying 你家.

• 请问府上在哪里？-- May I ask where your home is?

高见 (gāo jiàn) -- your esteemed opinion. The polite way to ask for someone's view.

• 请问您有何高见？-- May I ask what your thoughts are?

惠 (huì, "to bestow graciously") appears in formal written requests as a way of framing the other person's action as a favor:

• 惠顾 (huìgù) -- your patronage (used in business, e.g., 感谢您的惠顾, thank you for your patronage)
• 惠存 (huìcún) -- please keep this (written on gifts or cards)
• 惠复 (huìfù) -- please reply (in formal letters)

The humble-honorific pairing in action

The system works by consistently lowering yourself and raising the other person. This pairing shows up clearly in a few common formulas:

• 久仰大名 (jiǔ yǎng dà míng) -- I've long admired your great name. (Said when meeting someone for the first time whose reputation you know.)
• 幸会幸会 (xìnghuì xìnghuì) -- It's a pleasure to meet you. (Lit: lucky meeting, lucky meeting. Slightly formal but still used.)
• 请多关照 (qǐng duō guānzhào) -- Please look after me / I'm in your care. (Said when starting a new job, joining a group, or meeting colleagues for the first time. It's a humble request for goodwill.)
• 承蒙关照 (chéngméng guānzhào) -- Thank you for your kind attention. (The grateful response to having received care or help.)

How much of this do you actually need?

For most learners, the practical priority is:

1. Use 您 reliably with anyone who deserves respect.
2. Know 请, 麻烦你, and the softening patterns for everyday requests.
3. Recognize humble and honorific vocabulary when you encounter it in reading, formal speeches, and business settings.
4. Reach for 拙见, 贵公司, 敬请, and similar forms in your own formal writing when the register calls for it.

The more elaborate humble and honorific vocabulary is mainly passive knowledge for most learners, but encountering it without any framework is confusing. Once you know the system, even unfamiliar terms tend to make sense from their components.